Florida... and boo hoo, I'm not going

The Missus just left for the airport with her best friend for Florida. Waving goodbye, enjoying the recollection of that last hug and mentally storing her final smile at me from the taxi window -- all conspire to make me quite depressed ...

As usual, as with her annual company incentive trips, my emotions (when she goes off) will run the gamut of:

* feeling a bit lonely (the house, small as it is, can suddenly feel very empty, two noisy kids notwithstanding); to

* happiness (that she is living her life fully and richly); to

* pride (that she is making something out of her life and doing what she loves in the process); to

* feeling it's a good time for a break and do what I like to do without having to worry about what the Missus thinks.

This year's trip is affecting me more than usual because:

1. she nearly lost her life last week during a rafting excursion for a team-building exercise in Gopeng. You know how such incidents always make one feel very guilty... like why one should always, always be there by the spouse's side... :(

2. she qualified for two tickets to Florida but I, being the silly one, has decided to NOT go as I cannot leave my kids for two weeks. Actually, I can but truth be told, I always dread company outings as spouses are always trying to fit in amidst all the office colleagues and cliques.

3. I really should have gone because there's not much work at the office and we are all twiddling our thumbs.

I'm so proud of her. She's the perfect example of how someone without even a decent SPM result (the result of poverty, not laziness) can achieve what she has achieved. Let's put it this way, she qualifies for her targets every year (Million Dollar Round Table, no less) -- and she gets to go for her dream holidays every year.

Which is more than I can say or achieve with my English degree merely working my butt off for peanuts... Hee, hee