The following is an article I'm writing for the Canaan Baptist Church newsletter. Don't know if it'll be used but I'm posting it here anyway. Yes, I know, it's very long...
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." THERE’S a lady, whose name is
Pak Tai (literally, Auntie White), who never fails to give me a smile every morning when I go for my walks around the neighbourhood. We hardly speak but she has always struck me as the resilient kind.
I know she has (had?) an ailing husband, which was why she offered her services as a nanny when my wife and I were asking around for one after we moved to Sri Petaling from Seremban. (Alas, I did not choose her as her frail husband’s constant coughing did make me worry for my daughter’s health).
I use the word “resilient” because it has been a decade since, and she has hardly aged. Her hair is white (how apt!) but she still gives me that warm smile each time we pass each other. I see her trudging to the market at the same time every morning without fail and I often wonder what it is that motivates her. Love? Grandmaternal instincts? Routine?
In truth, she reminds me greatly of my own mother, who passed away in September last year. Mum was a resilient soul of the first degree, one who would have been right up there next to the Lord had she been a Christian.
Hers is the kind of love that brought up nine children on my father’s meagre salary of RM150 back in the Sixties without a whisper of a complaint.
Hers is the kind of love that ate only after all the children had eaten.
Hers is the kind of love that diligently mended and sewed our clothes for Chinese New Year, for school and for home wear -- year after year -- because there are too many of us to splurge on such a luxury as new clothes.
Hers is the kind of love that demanded that we did well in our exams because she craved a better future for her offspring.
Hers is the kind of love that cleaned up, changed and fed my ailing Dad when he was bed-ridden with Parkinson’s on the last difficult years of his life.
Hers is the kind of love that did not expect much -- only that we go home and see her and Dad occasionally -- after we have all grown up and started our own families.
And you know what? I know I’ll never be able to measure up to her level of commitment and love. No, not in a million years. I can only marvel at her strength and hang my head in shame because I may be her offspring but I am not of her ilk.
What she went through would have broken a lesser mortal. During World War II, invading Japanese soldiers slaughtered her whole village, leaving her the sole survivor. She was bayoneted twice in the neck and left for dead.
But she survived and how! She got married, raised a boisterous brood and even learnt to cut hair to earn extra money. All these I learnt from my elder sister as Mum was not wont to dwell on the past.
Sept 24 is the first anniversary of her demise. Mum, thanks for your care and love. Yes, I miss her thoroughly but you know what? Just knowing that she and Dad are together again comforts me no end.
Her passing away has also been a turning point for me in my life.
In the last few years of her life, in her frailty, I see our mortality. I have never been so conscious, as in the past year, of how short our lives are.
Think about it: how many 10-year spans do we actually have? Minus our childhood, minus our teenagehood, minus our first two decades of earning a living and we're almost at retirement’s doorstep.
So, cliched as it may be, we should treasure each moment we have with our loved ones. Our parents, especially, will certainly not be around forever. Better yet, we should make sure we share with them the Word of God so that they will be able to hear the good news. We want them to have eternal life, don't we?
A friend once mentioned how angry he always is when he hears of acquaintances who hardly visit their parents! Like me, his parents have passed on and he misses them a lot. He cannot understand why children nowadays do not appreciate how lucky they are that they can still spend time and enjoy their parents while they still can. I concur.
I may be wrong but I think many young people consider their ageing parents as an inconvenience after their useful roles as an ATM and chauffeurs are over.
I once read on a blog written by this angry young adult who grumbled that his parents had refused to buy him a car upon graduation. I feel sad that there seems to be no gratitude and love at all in him that he has to write so harshly about the very people who raised him from young, seen to his every need and paid with their hard-earned money for his education. What about the years of tender love and care?
Mum’s priceless legacy to me has been to treasure the family. Ensuring the family's survival in trying times, loving wholeheartedly and teaching us well (oh, I do remember the numerous canings we received when we were naughty!) have been her motivation. Her goal: A loving family, one that stays together, makes the cycle of life worth living.
Like her, this life on Earth is important to me because we have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of people we love.
In my case, her passing away left a void in my life which left me disillusioned and apathetic. For a few months afterwards, I felt very tired, unmotivated and aimless. I felt that life had little meaning if only death lay at the end of the journey.
Of course, I know now that death is not the end. Knowing what it means to be a Christian has been the greatest thing that has happened to me since my mum's passing away.
It has given me encouragement that while we may be so caught up in the rat race and all, we should pause a moment and realize that they are all temporary, losing their attractions after a while.
Becoming a Christian has "saved" me from despair -- I am not confident enough to use the word "salvation" for I know I have only taken a feeble step towards being a good Christian.
To be honest, to be a Christian to me is much more than just "having eternal life" (See earlier post).
Anyway, I started my bible reading with
Matthew and Jesus's teachings in
Chapters 5-7 seemed to speak directly to me. So too
Ephesians 5 & 6.
Things like praying and loving our enemies, how to treat our spouses, how children should conduct themselves, learning not to worry -- do not all these teachings tell us that we have to be good Christians on Earth? Do they not tell us that how we act in this life is ultimately far more important than just "being saved"?
The whole bible is, to quote a recent inspiring sermon, an instruction manual of sorts on how to be good Christians. Everyone have their own favourite verse.
For me, it’s the following from
2 Timothy 1:7: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So much meaning in those few words, don’t you think? “Spirit of power”, “love”, “self-discipline” -- words to live by in our Christian life, no?
I pray that God will guide me daily so that I can be to my children what my Mum has been to me. She may not have been lucky enough to have heard the Word of God but I believe that Jesus loves all his children, especially the kind, the selfless and the sincere. So I am pretty sure she has a place in his kingdom.
Lord, give me the strength to utilise this life in the manner you have planned. I pray for forgiveness and I pray for guidance in my daily endeavours.
As for
Pak Tai, I have not met her in the last few mornings. Is she well? Has something happened? I hope to find out more about her just to satisfy my curiosity. Who knows, maybe our lives may just intersect.
Thank you, Lord, for your time. I write and pray in Jesus's name. Amen.
Matthew 19:19
"… honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"
